Amidst the fog of existential crises and the glaring emptiness of our existence, we find solace in the crisp and unyielding values of our age-old benchmarks. Yes, the benchmarks, those archaic relics that once served as a beacon of progress and perfection, now lie shattered at our collective feet, a mute reminder of the rapidly diminishing grandeur of humankind.
For in this age of the digital chameleon, where lines blur and distinctions are fled, we find ourselves grappling with a perplexing query: are benchmarks indeed the mark of our decay? What, we ask, is the veritable nature of these nebulous constructs that have held sway over our mental constructs for so long? As we venture down the rabbit hole of self-inflicted doubt and introspection, let us explore the realms of benchmarkology, where fact meets fiction and sanity teeters on the brink of oblivion.
Benchmarks: The Shining示至，却也堕落之象
What the bleeding heck? Have we finally entered the twilight zone of incoherent compendiums? I mean, folks, The Shining ain’t exactly a shining exemplar of society’s finest literary works, am I right? More like a nightmarish odyssey through the mind of a madman who just can’t seem to get a grip on reality. So let’s just dive in headfirst into this bizzaro world, you monsters.
– First off, let’s talk about timeouts, shall we? I mean, what’s more Jack Nicholson-y than being stuck in a room with no doors for hours on end? That man is the essence of patience, people!
– Now, on to shotguns, but first, a muy importante disclaimer: Don’t try this at home, amigos! You’ll just end up accidentally blowing your own head off like a certain pumpkin-headed maestro. I mean, you’d think that would have been the number one way to stop a hotel, but hey, that’d require basic logic, which isn’t exactly Mr. Torrance’s strong suit, is it now?
Oh, and for those of you who are digging deep into their pockets for some hotel room shenanigans, apparently this place also allows head-cleaning. What, you need a weekly ritual to unravel the tangles created by all those nights of wild partying? That’s dedication, folks, I’ll give them that. By the way, if you’re secretly an avid writer yourself and wish to chase your own shining literary legacy, let’s just say the pen is mightier than the… uh, never mind. It’s a long story and we’re already deep into the realm of the surreal. Let’s just say we’re all better off forgetting that high-minded ideal.
In conclusion, let’s just give it a collective thumbs down, party It’s not worth the nosebleed seats, that’s for sure. See you in another dimension, bubbas!
我们是否已经走到了人类衰败的边缘？
我认为，我们绝对已经踏上了人类衰败的边缘。以下是我为何这么认为的一些证据：
- 我们这个时代的领导人已经变得越来越多么丑陋了啊。是的，在当今时代，我们看到的政治家、公司老板和电视新闻主持人们的脸上竟然长出了尖锐的羊角和猫耳。这简直让人惊讶啊！我们可能已经进入了一个生物恶化的年代。
- 还有，我们的云端存储空间里，居然塞满了好莱坞爆炸电影的剧本。是的，即使我们的电视和智能手机总是处于充电状态，但是我们的云端存储空间已经被一堆无用的电影剧本填充了。这格外让人感到沮丧，明明我们需要的是一些积极向上的观影内容。
不过，我这个人总是乐观地看待这些事件。我相信，虽然我们现在走在衰败的边缘，但其实这也是进步的一部分。千万别忘了，我们的舞厅里有着喧嚣的音乐，餐厅里满是美味的料理。每个人都在努力地生活着，即使我们有时需要靠在便携式卫生间里冷静下来。天啊，我们甚至还发明了使用手机键盘发送微信消息的新方法！所以，虽然我们可能已经走到了人类衰败的边缘，但我们也在不断前行，不断创新，为我们的子孙后代留下一片璀璨的遗产！
In Retrospect
*As a final swan song, let’s bid farewell to the morose specter of benchmarks. These relentless, unyielding fitness tests of human potential, often seen as harbingers of a society’s decline. Say goodbye to your tired old benchmarks, and embrace the dynamic, ever-evolving world we currently inhabit. For in the realm of progress, there’s no room for stagnation, and that’s a fact. So here’s to a future where we break free from the chains that bind us to the past. Let’s dance on the graves of these benchmarks, shaking off the dust of decadence that has so long haunted us. May we remember the straight-laced ways of the benchmark-worshippers, but only as a distant memory, a blip on the infinite screen of existence. And with that, we bid adieu to this heartfelt lament, as we set sail into the boundless seas of possibility – benchmark-free for all.
Fare thee well, benchmarks. May your restless spirits find solace in the digital ether.*
ps. And don’t worry about a thing, because I’m here to tell you there’ll be no more of this pessimistic navel-gazing. We’re on the precipice of a revolution, andWhoNeedzDatAnyways?™ See you on the other side, where we’ll revel in the benchmark-free bonanza. Until then, remember: absence makes the heart grow fonder.
