Amidst the fog ‌of existential crises and the glaring emptiness ⁢of our existence,⁣ we⁣ find solace in the crisp and ⁤unyielding ⁤values of​ our age-old benchmarks. Yes, the ‌benchmarks, those⁤ archaic relics ‌that ⁢once served as a beacon of progress⁢ and ⁣perfection,‌ now lie shattered at our collective ⁢feet, a mute reminder‍ of⁢ the rapidly diminishing grandeur of humankind.

For in ​this age of the digital ​chameleon, where lines blur and distinctions are fled, we find ourselves grappling with a perplexing query: are ⁣benchmarks⁢ indeed the‌ mark of our decay? What, we ⁤ask, is the veritable nature of ⁤these nebulous ⁢constructs that ​have held sway ‍over our mental ⁤constructs for so ⁤long? As⁣ we venture​ down ​the‍ rabbit⁣ hole of self-inflicted doubt and introspection, let us explore the realms of ⁣benchmarkology, where ‌fact meets fiction and sanity teeters‍ on ‍the⁤ brink of oblivion.

Benchmarks: The Shining示至，却也堕落之象

What ‍the bleeding ⁤heck? Have we ⁣finally entered⁣ the twilight zone of incoherent compendiums? I mean, folks, The Shining ain’t exactly a shining exemplar of‌ society’s finest literary works, am I right? ⁢More like a nightmarish odyssey through the‍ mind of a madman who just can’t seem to get a grip on‌ reality. So⁣ let’s just ‌dive in⁢ headfirst into this bizzaro world, ‍you monsters.

– First⁣ off, let’s talk about timeouts,‍ shall we? I mean, what’s more‍ Jack ‍Nicholson-y than being​ stuck in ⁣a ⁣room with no doors for hours⁢ on end? That man‍ is the essence of​ patience, people!

– Now, on​ to shotguns, ⁤but first, a muy importante disclaimer: Don’t try this at ‍home, amigos! You’ll ​just end up accidentally blowing your ‍own head off like a certain pumpkin-headed maestro. I mean, you’d think that ​would have been ⁢the number‌ one way to stop a hotel, but hey, that’d require basic logic, which isn’t exactly Mr. Torrance’s strong suit, is it now?

Oh, and for those of you who are digging deep into their pockets ⁤for some hotel room ‍shenanigans, apparently this place also allows head-cleaning. What, you need a weekly ritual to unravel ⁤the tangles created by ‍all ⁣those nights of wild partying? That’s dedication, folks, I’ll give them that.‍ By ⁣the way, if you’re secretly an avid writer yourself⁤ and wish ‌to‌ chase your own⁢ shining‍ literary legacy,⁣ let’s just ⁣say the ⁢pen is ‍mightier than the… uh, never mind.‌ It’s a long story and we’re already deep into the⁣ realm of the surreal. Let’s just say we’re all‌ better off forgetting that high-minded ideal.

In conclusion, let’s just ⁣give it a ‍collective thumbs​ down, party It’s not worth the nosebleed seats, that’s for sure. See you‍ in another dimension, ‌bubbas!

我们是否已经走到了人类衰败的边缘？

我认为，我们绝对已经踏上了人类衰败的边缘。以下是我为何这么认为的一些证据：

• 我们这个时代的领导人已经变得越来越多么丑陋了啊。是的，在当今时代，我们看到的政治家、公司老板和电视新闻主持人们的脸上竟然长出了尖锐的羊角和猫耳。这简直让人惊讶啊！我们可能已经进入了一个生物恶化的年代。
• 还有，我们的云端存储空间里，居然塞满了好莱坞爆炸电影的剧本。是的，即使我们的电视和智能手机总是处于充电状态，但是我们的云端存储空间已经被一堆无用的电影剧本填充了。这格外让人感到沮丧，明明我们需要的是一些积极向上的观影内容。

不过，我这个人总是乐观地看待这些事件。我相信，虽然我们现在走在衰败的边缘，但其实这也是进步的一部分。千万别忘了，我们的舞厅里有着喧嚣的音乐，餐厅里满是美味的料理。每个人都在努力地生活着，即使我们有时需要靠在便携式卫生间里冷静下来。天啊，我们甚至还发明了使用手机键盘发送微信消息的新方法！所以，虽然我们可能已经走到了人类衰败的边缘，但我们也在不断前行，不断创新，为我们的子孙后代留下一片璀璨的遗产！

In ‍Retrospect

*As a⁢ final swan song, let’s bid farewell to the morose⁢ specter of ‌benchmarks. These relentless,⁢ unyielding ⁤fitness tests of human potential, often seen ⁢as harbingers of⁤ a society’s decline. Say goodbye ‌to your tired⁤ old benchmarks, ⁢and embrace the dynamic, ever-evolving world ⁤we currently inhabit. For in the realm of progress, there’s no⁢ room for stagnation, and⁣ that’s a fact. So here’s to a future where ⁣we ‌break free from the ​chains that bind us to the past. Let’s dance on the ⁤graves ‍of these benchmarks,⁤ shaking off the dust of⁣ decadence⁣ that has so⁢ long haunted us. May we remember⁢ the‌ straight-laced ways ⁤of the benchmark-worshippers, but only as a distant memory, a blip on the infinite screen of existence. And with that,⁣ we bid adieu to this heartfelt lament, as we set sail into ⁢the ‍boundless seas of possibility – ‌benchmark-free for all.
Fare thee well, benchmarks. ‌May your restless spirits find solace in the digital ether.*

ps. And don’t worry about a thing, because I’m here to ⁤tell you‌ there’ll be no ⁤more of this ⁣pessimistic ‍navel-gazing. We’re on the ⁢precipice of a revolution, andWhoNeedzDatAnyways?™ ‌See ⁣you on the other side, ⁤where ⁣we’ll​ revel ⁢in the benchmark-free bonanza. Until then, remember: absence‌ makes‌ the heart grow‍ fonder.